Here's how dopey I am: when I heard about Senator "Wide Stance" Craig's Lavatory Lovequest, I thought "Why be a closet case? Why not take a tip from Barney Frank and be Out?" Then I realized, duh, Frank's a Dem, Craig's a Republican. I have chums who are Log Cabin Republican types: openly gay, openly Republican. That's okay for them because they're not running for office. The day when an openly gay person can get elected on the Republican ticket ain't here yet.
Also, spare some thought for cops who are so low on the totem pole that they get assigned to potty patrol. There are worse jobs, but not many. I'm too squeamish to sit on public toilets in a non-emergency situation, anyway. The idea of hunkering down on the polluted porcelain for an eight-hour shift is smelling-salts-worthy. But if one is that uptight one probably shouldn't be a cop anyway.